JANUARY 1975

 

 

Factual prelude

 

Before I metaphorically depart 1974, it’s amazing the little things you find out from lurking on certain message boards, things of which I was unaware at the time, being the age that I was, but might help illustrate the behaviour of some of that year’s hit records.

 

For a start, I had no idea that RCA had stopped pressing singles at all in Britain in late 1973, following the oil crisis and the threat of imminent industrial action. From then on they would press albums only and the singles would be pressed in the U.S.A. then sent over here – which explains the unusual APBO and LPBO catalogue numbers (they are stock prefixes for American RCA). Many came across in jukebox-friendly no-centre format and a few of those did sneak into the supply I obtained from Hamilton Woolworths every Saturday.

 

But distribution was necessarily staggered, irregular and unreliable, which probably explains the otherwise inexplicable commercial underperformance of certain RCA singles. Why for instance did “Rebel, Rebel” storm in at number six, only to peak just one place higher then rapidly tumble? To this day most people assume it was a gigantic number one. But only 100,000 copies of the single found their way into the UK, meaning that more often than not if you went into your local HMV or Rumbelows to purchase a copy it was out of stock. Diamond Dogs went straight in at the top of the album chart, of course, because the pressing of albums was unaffected. But the other three Bowie singles released the same year should all have done a lot better than they did.

 

Likewise “Teenage Rampage” getting stuck at number two. Well, fair enough, I don’t think anything could have got past “Tiger Feet” – sales-wise, that year, nothing else did – but again it was the problem of inadequate distribution and problems with availability; see also “The Six Teens,” which I didn’t know Chinn and Chapman first offered to Suzi Quatro, who turned it down, and which probably should have reached a lot higher than number nine. “Rock The Boat” was as huge in clubs as “Rock Your Baby” and very likely should also have gone all the way to the top.

 

What else? Oh, “Gee Baby” was offered to but turned down by Alvin Stardust, so Peter Shelley decided to record it himself; eagle ears wondered where they’d heard that very familiar-sounding voice before, and the game was, shall we say, blown. Oh, and Bell Records. You’d think they were blindingly successful in 1974, wouldn’t you? Hit after bubblegum hit. Never out of the charts. Not the case. Of 49 singles the label released that year, only 24 – just under half - made it to the top thirty. Number one acts like Terry Jacks and Tony Orlando & Dawn dropped off the chart altogether. Hence, in 1975, the label largely followed its American counterpart and mutated into Arista Records, whose first three signings were Barry Manilow, Anthony Braxton and Patti Smith. They hung on with the Bell brand for acts like Showaddywaddy but by early 1977 it had disappeared completely.

 

Enough of this fascinating statistical chitchat and on with 1975…

 

Me and 1975

 

I turned eleven. I was in my final year at Muiredge Primary and in August would begin my first year at Uddingston Grammar. Just to get things clear, it was a downgraded grammar school (i.e. basically a secondary modern). Given that my father had wanted to enrol me at Gordonstoun (though obviously and thankfully couldn’t afford the fees) that was a minor relief. But my first year was not a success. If I’d joined in my second year it would have been a lot better. I didn’t want to transition gradually from primary school; I wanted to make a clean break and fresh restart. Fifty years ago four months from now. Half a century. But more of that when I get there.

 

Anything else? I visited Blackpool on holiday for the sixth and last time. I haven’t been back since. Again, more talk about that when I reach July. Only six times, though? It feels like a lot more.

 

My daring cover story in the Hamilton Advertiser somehow failed to elicit any publishing offers or writing work, despite my having been pictured at my typewriter working on a book, or so the story said (actually that wasn’t what I did – the photographer said, oh just type anything, and anything is exactly what I did type). I guess either nobody was interested or I was unable and/or unwilling to push myself – or be pushed by my parents – adequately enough to let important people know I existed. No change in the intervening half-century there. Dealing with the fallout at the time was unpleasant.

 

“BUT WHAT ABOUT JANUARY 1975?” I hear you howl. OK, OK, here we go…but just to say beforehand that “Ali Shuffle” wasn’t a hit and you won’t hear it anywhere these days because Mr Fame sings the song in a rather unfortunate cod-Jamaican accent and that “Footsee” was actually something of a forgery – the full story is here but needless to say it didn’t and still doesn’t bother me; it’s a terrific fucking pop record, which in the end is all that counts. An “embarrassing novelty” and “execrable,” said Stuart Maconie. Insert the punchline of your choice.

 

 

4 January

 

JOHN HOLT: Help Me Make It Through The Night/Tell Me Why (Trojan TR 7909)

 

 

Certainly different from all the other versions I’ve heard, Holt sounds pretty cheerful about not wanting to be alone. Good that we’re getting more reggae back into the charts.

 

 

 

WIZZARD: Are You Ready To Rock/Marathon Man (Warner Bros K 16497)

 

 

Back to Bill Haley basics for Roy Wood, but with a weird bebop sax interlude and a bagpipe coda. This should put them back in the top ten but it still feels like time’s run out for the glam movement – there’s absolutely nothing glamorous about this.

 

 

 

 

THE TYMES: Ms Grace/The Crutch (RCA Victor RCA 2493)

 

 

Very old-fashioned showbiz doowop that swings catchily.

 

 

 

 

11 January

 

DONNY & MARIE OSMOND: Morning Side Of The Mountain/One Of These Days (MGM 2006 474)

 

 

Oh NO! “There was a BOY…there was a GIRL.” I’ve seen them singing this on TV about 7000 times and it’s going to be a big hit, isn’t it? Don’t think it’s going to get the teenyboppers excited, though; this is for their square parents.

 

 

 

KEN BOOTHE: Crying Over You/Now You Can See Me Again (When Will I See You Again) (Trojan TR 7944)

 

 

Not as catchy as “Everything I Own” but good solid ballad reggae. Interesting Three Degrees variation on the B-side.

 

 

 

 

18 January

 

KEVIN JOHNSON: Rock And Roll (I Gave You The Best Years Of My Life)/Life Is What You Make It (UK UKR 64)

 

 

This is one of those songs that Johnnie Walker likes playing then complains about it not being a hit. “Overnight Sensation (Hit Record)” by the Raspberries was another one and that really should have been top three. I do like this one, though. Slow and reflective, and a bit like “W.O.L.D.” by Harry Chapin (nearly a hit in 1974 but perhaps British people got confused by all the American radio references) in that it’s about a guy who’s given his whole life to something – in each case it’s music – only to discover that it’s all been for nothing and he wasn’t good enough. I like how the music starts screaming after he sings “I’d never be a star” – all this pent-up frustration at possibly having wasted his life. Is that what I’ve done already?

 

 

 

PILOT: January/Never Give Up (EMI 2255)

 

 

They really are a super band, Pilot. Immensely catchy, like an asteroid swooping in to land a kiss on your cheek. This is how to write proper pop music. Handclaps. The Beatles! It HAS to be a number one. SCOTLAND!

 

 

 

STEVIE WONDER: Boogie On Reggae Woman/Evil (Tamla Motown TMG 928)

 

 

Terrific bubbly synthesised soul and Stevie even sounds Glaswegian in the chorus (“WAMMIN!”).

 

 

 

GEORGE McCRAE: You Can Have It All/Make It Right (Jay Boy BOY 92)

 

 

Slowing the formula down a little and letting the excellent song shine through more clearly. Not a one-hit wonder.

 

ELVIS PRESLEY: Promised Land/It’s Midnight And I Miss You (RCA PB 10074)

 

 

Did RCA put this out to spoil the chances of the brilliant Johnnie Allan version with the accordion? That’s one of those big hits that get in the Radio Clyde Tartan Thirty but you never hear them anywhere else. “12 Days Of Christmas” by Bill Barclay is another. Still, the King seems to be rocking out with purpose here and some wonderful guitar from I presume James Burton.

 

 

 

 

25 January (my eleventh birthday!)

 

HELEN REDDY: Angie Baby/I Think I’ll Write A Song (Capitol CL 15799)

 

 

Lots of hits in the U.S.A. but her first one here. What a disturbing song about this girl obsessed with the radio in her bedroom and a boy becomes interested but gets eaten by the radio, or something. “It’s so nice to be insane” – oh, I see, they put her away.

 

 

 

JOHNNY WAKELIN AND THE KINSHASA BAND: Black Superman (Muhammad Ali)/Bang The Drum (Pye 7N 45420)

 

 

Rather oafish half-reggae boxer tribute and he sounds like Peter Goodwright on Who Do You Do? “Ali Shuffle” by Georgie Fame is much better but won’t be a hit.

 

 

 

WIGAN’S CHOSEN FEW: Footsee (Instrumental)/CHUCK WOOD: 7 Days Too Long (Pye Disco Demand DDS 111)

 

 

This record is MAD! Kazoos for brass! Football match crowds! This is much weirder and better than Yes! Funny how all the bourgeois people grow their hair, wear denim jackets and listen to Led Zeppelin but working class people dress up, go to clubs and do their dancing to fast soul music. I know who’s having more fun. The other side is also a fabulous song! We want more Northern Soul in the charts NOW!

 

 

 

THE CARPENTERS: Please Mr Postman/This Masquerade (A&M AMS 7141)

 

 

Motown cover version done with forced jollity. “Delivah de lettah!” sings Karen like she’s just listened to some reggae. I’d like to hear her do “Ire Feelings (Skanga)” - that would be a change. B-side is old but very pleasant misery.

 

 

 

MAC AND KATIE KISSOON: Sugar Candy Kisses/Black Rose (Polydor 2058 531)

 

 

They’ve been around and played on Luxembourg forever, but finally they get a hit – it’s the same people who did “Sugar Baby Love” so it’s similar, like they wrote the song a little further up the slide rule. Katie Kissoon sounds like she’s doing most of the work.

 

 

 

SWEET SENSATION: Purely By Coincidence/Touched By Magic (Pye 7N 45421)

 

 

Follow-up in much the same vein as the previous one – again, very nice but they’ll have to prove they can do something different. Have to hand it to Pye Records, though – three new entries in the Top 30 this week so their promotions staff must be doing their jobs very efficiently.

 

 

 

SPARKS: Something For The Girl With Everything/Marry Me (Island WIP 6221)

 

 

Sparks are my favourite band, I’ve just decided. Every song they do is different. This is like psychopathic rock opera, glam-rock Mozart.

 

 

 

THE GLITTER BAND: Goodbye My Love/Got To Get Ready For Love (Bell 1395)

 

 

This will probably be their biggest hit but they can’t make their minds up whether they still want to be glam or whether they might be better off just being the Bay City Rollers.

  

DECEMBER 1974

 

Mud got both the year's Christmas number one and the year's best-selling single in "Tiger Feet" - the Wombles and Ralph McTell both managed to peak at number two in different weeks. The hit version of "Streets Of London" was actually the third recording McTell had made of the song since 1969. The applause at the end of "I Can Help" was in recognition of Billy Swan having performed and compelted the recording while having his ankle being bitten into by a dog which had just run into the studio. "Down Down" gave Status Quo their only UK number one single in a slow week in early January 1975. I caught up with the movie of Stardust many years later and it is indeed pretty scary; the gong effect was achieved by Ray Cooper striking the instrument then immersing it in a bathtub filled with water. Carpet Kingdom was a Scottish carpet warehouse which advertised on STV. Kenny the group were indeed different from Tony Kenny the Irish singer but some sort of deal was engineered where the "brand name" passed on to the band. Showaddywaddy did gain further success in 1975 but realised they'd have to rely on cover versions to do so. Gilbert O'Sullivan's August 1974 single "A Woman's Place" was deemed controversial and sexist, hence received little airplay and peaked at #42; however, O'Sullivan explained that the song was a satirical character study and that if he tried any of that patter with his own wife, he would be the recipient of an almighty thumping.

 

7 December

 

THE TRAMMPS: Zing Went The Strings Of My Heart/Penguin At The Bad Apple (Buddah BDS 405)

Disco version of an old song from the thirties. Well, if that's what people want, here it is (the B-side is just the instrumental backing track).

THE FACES/ROD STEWART: You Can Make Me Dance, Sing Or Anything (Even Take The Dog For A Walk, Mend A Fuse, Fold Away The Ironing Board Or Any Other Domestic Shortcomings.)/As Long As You Tell Him (Warner Bros K 16494)

Their last single and it's a thoroughly good example of how a rock band should work and play together; every element is in place and proportion to every other one. Possibly their best single.

WAYNE GIBSON: Under My Thumb/The Game (Pye Disco Demand DDS 2001)

Wrinkled cover of a horrible old Rolling Stones song. Seems to me like Pye is pushing any old rubbish it has in its attic as a lost Northern Soul classic. Who's in charge, Sid James?

K C & THE SUNSHINE BAND: Sound Your Funky Horn/Why Don't We Get Together (Jay Boy BOY 83)

Fewer hooks than "Queen Of Clubs" but the Miami sound is obviously the way to go, if they can find a way to take it. Solid dancer. 

MUD: Lonely This Christmas/I Can't Stand It (RAK 187)

I guess this is going to be the Christmas number one. Maudlin Elvis-style weepie and it sounds like they're treating loss and loneliness as a joke. This time last year it was Slade. How quickly things change.

 

14 December

 

RINGO STARR: Only You/Call Me (Apple R 6000)

Old Platters song sung like he's in the middle of falling asleep. All this old stuff. Musicians getting old. It can't be healthy.

THE GOODIES: Father Christmas Do Not Touch Me/The Inbetweenies (Bradley's Records BRAD 7421)

"The Inbetweenies" is getting most of the publicity - anaemic comedy Glitter Band takeoff about being the wrong age and not particularly funny. The Father Christmas side is one joke that quickly wears very thin.

BILLY SWAN: I Can Help/Ways Of A Woman In Love (Monument MNT 2752)

Deserved success for this American number one, recorded in a shed with his neighbours by the sound of it but in good spirits with the Woolworths organ and a round of applause at the end.

THE WOMBLES: Wombling Merry Christmas/Madame Cholet (CBS 2842)

I suppose 1974 will go down as the year of Mud and the Wombles. That isn't saying much considering a year ago it was Slade and Wizzard. This is like "Remember You're A Womble" but with Christmas and a wheezing saxophone added.

STATUS QUO: Down Down/Nightride (Vertigo 6059 114)

Back to the fast "Caroline" formula where they sound most comfortable. Should be top five.

RALPH McTELL: Streets Of London/Summer Lightning (Reprise K 14380)

This song seems to have been around forever but is only now getting into the charts, presumably with an eye on the Christmas market. It will do very well - don't think it will get past Mud, but top three is a certainty - but nobody will care about poor people after the New Year.

 

21/28 December (no new chart at Christmas)

 

DAVID ESSEX: Stardust/Miss Sweetness (CBS 2828)

Theme from the sequel to That'll Be The Day which I gather from reviews is very frightening. It's an X certificate so I won't know. This is definitely David Essex at his scariest. Chinese Opera strings and what sounds like a gong being dipped in a watertank. If this were Kevin Coyne or Van Der Graaf Generator everybody would rave about how avant-garde it is.

GLORIA GAYNOR: Never Can Say Goodbye/We Just Can't Make It (MGM 2006 463)

Sounds a bit like the song from the Carpet Kingdom advertisement to me but this is an excellent uptempo disco version of the old Jackson 5 song, very nicely sung.

KENNY: The Bump/Forget The Janes, The Jeans And The Might Have Beens (RAK 186)

Well, if the Rollers didn't want it, the song's obviously been passed on. This is a group and not the same Kenny who did "Heart Of Stone" last year, even though it's the same label. It's confusing, as is the B-side which, despite its name, is dull country-rock.

SHOWADDYWADDY: Hey Mister Christmas/Rock 'N' Roll Man (Bell 1387)

Like their previous two songs but with Christmas and The National Childrens Home Harpenden Choir added. Not Wizzard and the song ends up going nowhere and repeating itself forever until the fade. Not sure we'll be seeing much of them in 1975.

GILBERT O'SULLIVAN: Christmas Song/To Cut A Long Story Short (MAM 124)

He's trying to assure us that he's not very bothered about Christmas, but there's another children's choir. I suppose this is better than his last terrible flop but again I don't think there's much life left in this way of doing things.

 

 

 

 

NOVEMBER 1974

 

"Hot Shot" did turn out to be Barry Blue's last hit as a performer but was very, very far from his last hit as a songwriter and/or producer for others. "Nosmo King" was actually songwriter Stephen Jameson, who had released the song under a different title ("Goodbye") as a B-side earlier in the year (hence its vaguely Elton John-esque feel) without success; it was then recycled and marketed by Pye to look as though it were an undiscovered Northern Soul classic. One of the backing singers is Tony Burrows. "You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet" made number one in twenty-two countries but here got stuck for a fortnight at number two behind the year's Christmas chart-topper. I'm not sure my feelings about "Ire Feelings (Skanga)" have substantively altered over the intervening half-century.

 

2 November

 

STEVIE WONDER: You Haven't Done Nothin'/Happier Than The Morning Sun (Tamla Motown TMG 921)

Funky and angry tirade against Nixon, with the Jackson 5 on backing vocals. Stevie is the new Beatles.

BARRY BLUE: Hot Shot/Hobo Man (Bell 1379)

He's gone mad (hooray)! Red Army Cossack choir, French horns and of course bouzoukis. If this is going to be his last hit, why not go out on such a bang?

THE HUES CORPORATION: Rockin' Soul/Go To The Poet (RCA Victor PB 10066)

Soundalike follow-up. The B-side is less interesting than its title might suggest.

THE PEPPERS: Pepper Box/Pinch Of Salt (Spark SRL 1100)

Follow-up to "Popcorn"? French electronic disco near-instrumental that has been around for a year but finally becomes a hit.

 

9 November

PILOT: Magic/Just Let Me Be (EMI 2217)

From Edinburgh and already huge in Scotland - they've even reworked the song as a jingle for Radio Clyde - this is superb, seamless pop music, worthy of Badfinger.

DIONNE WARWICK AND THE DETROIT SPINNERS: Then Came You/Just As Long As We Have Love (Atlantic K 10495)

Number one on Billboard and if British people were intelligent it would be number one here but they watch On The Buses so it won't. Slinky funk-soul pop that once again demonstrates what a phenomenal record producer Thom Bell is. The Stylistics must be feeling gloomy.

SPLINTER: Costafine Town/Elly May (Dark Horse AMS 7135)

Discovered, signed and produced by George Harrison - the boring Beatle - this earnest bearded folk duo might be thought the next Peter and Gordon. Not by me, you understand, but by grown-up people with beards. I don't think the Rollers have much to worry about.

THE CHI-LITES: Too Good To Be Forgotten/There Will Never Be Any Peace (Until God Is Seated At The Conference Table) (Brunswick BR 13)

Another uptempo bouncer for Eugene Record and his friends. Insubstantial and rendered unlistenable by those stupid Orange Lodge march flutes. The B-side is MUCH better.

LYNSEY DE PAUL: No Honestly/Central Park Arrest (Jet 747)

The A-side is the theme from an ITV situation comedy; she's still on a Spector kick. The B-side is her own version of the song she wrote for Thunderthighs and is rather more intriguing.

BARRY WHITE: You're The First, The Last, My Everything/More Than Anything, You're My Everything (20th Century Records BTC 2133)

He really has come through this year. Instantly catchy disco swayer with spoken intro and outro (if you go with the full album version, which you should). This could go all the way to the top.

 

16 November

 

JIMMY RUFFIN: Farewell Is A Lonely Sound/I Will Never Let You Get Away (Tamla Motown TMG 922)

What's this doing back? It was only a hit four years ago. Do British people have amnesia, or the memory of a goldfish?

DONNY OSMOND: Where Did All The Good Times Go/I'm Dyin' (MGM 2006 468)

Good grief - this record might be prophetic. He really sounds like he's on the way out and is probably right to think that. And he isn't even an adult yet. See what I mean? Do you want that happening to me?

 

 

THE JAVELLS FEATURING NOSMO KING: Goodbye Nothin' To Say/Nothin' To Say (Pye Disco Demand DDS 2003)

Northern Soul stomper, sung by a frightening-looking fellow wearing a Blackpool Kiss-Me-Quick hat which he probably bought for 37½p from Central Pier on a wet Wednesday. The B-side is, appropriately, the instrumental. Value for money. And my father says "Nosmo King" is the name of an old comedian. Since the singer looks about ninety he's probably right.

PAUL McCARTNEY AND WINGS: Junior's Farm/Sally G (Apple R 5999)

I've been to a farm. Or at least to a farm show at Ingliston on a school outing. A lot of tractors. The smell of iron, grass and Cresta (pineapple flavour), compressed by heat. Maybe Paul went to one of those shows, got fed up and thought oh I'll write this song instead. Rock politely in your socks.

THE RUBETTES: Juke Box Jive/When You're Falling In Love (Polydor 2058 529)

OK, they thought, we can't do the Four Seasons any more but we can at least do Showaddywaddy.

SUZI QUATRO: The Wild One/Shake My Sugar (RAK 185)

I guess she wants to be Showaddywaddy too.

23 November

 

AL GREEN: Sha-La-La (Make Me Happy)/School Days (London HLU 10470)

Lovely record, beautifully sung, played and produced. Why isn't he bigger here? It's because British people just want Tom Humperdinck shaking his crotch and crooning to the ladies with a rose in his teeth. Too classy. "I Can't Stand The Rain" by Ann Peebles, also produced by Willie Mitchell, got stuck at number 41 back in April. People here only like flimsy tat off the telly.

ELVIS PRESLEY: My Boy/Loving Arms (RCA Victor RCA 2458)

Or they want sentimental schlock like this which Richard Harris did better anyway. I can't listen to this one. The words are too painful. I see and hear them every day.

ACE: How Long/Sniffin' About (Anchor ANC 1002)

There's a lot of talk in the NME these days about "pub rock." They mention Ducks Deluxe, who get played on Luxembourg and whom I do like, and Dr Feelgood, who are apparently very good but nobody's played them up here yet. Also Ace, straight from the Hope and Anchor as I understand things (therefore the name of the label?), with this really classy and slightly threatening midtempo jazz-funk (as my father, who likes this but wanted longer solos, calls it) thing. It'll go above the heads of most British people but this is a quiet beauty.

HELLO: Tell Him/Lightning (Bell 1377)

Unlovely, brutal Glitter stampede of a sixties cover - unsurprising since Mike Leander produced it - performed by crane drivers by the look of them. Glam rock really is running out of ideas.

BACHMAN-TURNER OVERDRIVE: You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet/Free Wheelin' (Mercury 6167 025)

Canada comes to the rescue (again). Randy Bachman used to be in the Guess Who (who should have had a hit here earlier in the year with "Clap For The Wolfman," except nobody here knows who Wolfman Jack is) but this is a stuttering juggernaut of a rock-pop record - funny, catchy, everybody will be out on the dance floor in four seconds. Please note all Second Division glam rockers here; THIS is how you do it. Number one.

GARY GLITTER: Oh Yes! You're Beautiful/Thank You, Baby, For Myself (Bell 1391)

Oh dear. Another sludgy, constipated ballad. Please go away.

 

30 November

 

DISCO TEX & THE SEX-O-LETTES: Get Dancin' - Part 1/Get Dancin' - Part 2 (Chelsea 2005 013)

This is INSANE. Ridiculously infectious get-on-the-floor NOW siren of a groove with Disco Tex howling and yelling bilingually over the top of it, like Emperor Rosko being chased by the F.B.I. over what he might know about Watergate. Being played madly by Tony Prince on Luxembourg. A monster (the record, not Tony Prince).

ALVIN STARDUST: Tell Me Why/Roadie Roll On (Magnet MAG 19) 

I don't know, Alvin, you tell me why. Still, this is a welcome slowing down from his usual one record. It almost sounds like...a Peter Shelley record.

RUPIE EDWARDS: Ire Feelings (Skanga)/RUPIE EDWARDS ALL STARS: Feeling High (Cactus CT 38)

OH. MY. GOD I DID NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS! It's come out of NOWHERE! All the time in the music papers I read about this thing called dub but nobody plays it but if THIS is what it sounds like then WOW!!!!!! This record sounds like every other record ever made played backwards then sideways. There's the ghost of a song in there somewhere but you can never quite grasp it - it always skitters away into the shadows. It just turns all my assumptions about music upside down. "DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD?" this voice jumps out at me like the barking dog of heaven. And it isn't even a comedy record - this is one of the most serious hit records I can think of. Perhaps the best pop single anybody's done since "Double Barrel."

ELTON JOHN: Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds (Featuring Dr Winston O'Boogie and his Reggae Guitars)/One Day At A Time (DJM DJS 340)

It's John Lennon letting us know he knows what's going on (G.T. Moore and the Reggae Guitars - pretty hip) and it's Elton having a splendid time with one of John's old songs (old? It's only seven years ago!). Why "Whatever Gets You Through The Night" wasn't a hit here I'll never know (unless it's because people think John is a lot less cuddly than Paul or Ringo) but this should set the record straight.