JANUARY 1975

Factual prelude

 

Before I metaphorically depart 1974, it’s amazing the little things you find out from lurking on certain message boards, things of which I was unaware at the time, being the age that I was, but might help illustrate the behaviour of some of that year’s hit records.

 

For a start, I had no idea that RCA had stopped pressing singles at all in Britain in late 1973, following the oil crisis and the threat of imminent industrial action. From then on they would press albums only and the singles would be pressed in the U.S.A. then sent over here – which explains the unusual APBO and LPBO catalogue numbers (they are stock prefixes for American RCA). Many came across in jukebox-friendly no-centre format and a few of those did sneak into the supply I obtained from Hamilton Woolworths every Saturday.

 

But distribution was necessarily staggered, irregular and unreliable, which probably explains the otherwise inexplicable commercial underperformance of certain RCA singles. Why for instance did “Rebel, Rebel” storm in at number six, only to peak just one place higher then rapidly tumble? To this day most people assume it was a gigantic number one. But only 100,000 copies of the single found their way into the UK, meaning that more often than not if you went into your local HMV or Rumbelows to purchase a copy it was out of stock. Diamond Dogs went straight in at the top of the album chart, of course, because the pressing of albums was unaffected. But the other three Bowie singles released the same year should all have done a lot better than they did.

 

Likewise “Teenage Rampage” getting stuck at number two. Well, fair enough, I don’t think anything could have got past “Tiger Feet” – sales-wise, that year, nothing else did – but again it was the problem of inadequate distribution and problems with availability; see also “The Six Teens,” which I didn’t know Chinn and Chapman first offered to Suzi Quatro, who turned it down, and which probably should have reached a lot higher than number nine. “Rock The Boat” was as huge in clubs as “Rock Your Baby” and very likely should also have gone all the way to the top.

 

What else? Oh, “Gee Baby” was offered to but turned down by Alvin Stardust, so Peter Shelley decided to record it himself; eagle ears wondered where they’d heard that very familiar-sounding voice before, and the game was, shall we say, blown. Oh, and Bell Records. You’d think they were blindingly successful in 1974, wouldn’t you? Hit after bubblegum hit. Never out of the charts. Not the case. Of 49 singles the label released that year, only 24 – just under half - made it to the top thirty. Number one acts like Terry Jacks and Tony Orlando & Dawn dropped off the chart altogether. Hence, in 1975, the label largely followed its American counterpart and mutated into Arista Records, whose first three signings were Barry Manilow, Anthony Braxton and Patti Smith. They hung on with the Bell brand for acts like Showaddywaddy but by early 1977 it had disappeared completely.

 

Enough of this fascinating statistical chitchat and on with 1975…

 

Me and 1975

 

I turned eleven. I was in my final year at Muiredge Primary and in August would begin my first year at Uddingston Grammar. Just to get things clear, it was a downgraded grammar school (i.e. basically a secondary modern). Given that my father had wanted to enrol me at Gordonstoun (though obviously and thankfully couldn’t afford the fees) that was a minor relief. But my first year was not a success. If I’d joined in my second year it would have been a lot better. I didn’t want to transition gradually from primary school; I wanted to make a clean break and fresh restart. Fifty years ago four months from now. Half a century. But more of that when I get there.

 

Anything else? I visited Blackpool on holiday for the sixth and last time. I haven’t been back since. Again, more talk about that when I reach July. Only six times, though? It feels like a lot more.

 

My daring cover story in the Hamilton Advertiser somehow failed to elicit any publishing offers or writing work, despite my having been pictured at my typewriter working on a book, or so the story said (actually that wasn’t what I did – the photographer said, oh just type anything, and anything is exactly what I did type). I guess either nobody was interested or I was unable and/or unwilling to push myself – or be pushed by my parents – adequately enough to let important people know I existed. No change in the intervening half-century there. Dealing with the fallout at the time was unpleasant.

 

“BUT WHAT ABOUT JANUARY 1975?” I hear you howl. OK, OK, here we go…but just to say beforehand that “Ali Shuffle” wasn’t a hit and you won’t hear it anywhere these days because Mr Fame sings the song in a rather unfortunate cod-Jamaican accent and that “Footsee” was actually something of a forgery – the full story is here but needless to say it didn’t and still doesn’t bother me; it’s a terrific fucking pop record, which in the end is all that counts. An “embarrassing novelty” and “execrable,” said Stuart Maconie. Insert the punchline of your choice.

 

 

4 January

 

JOHN HOLT: Help Me Make It Through The Night/Tell Me Why (Trojan TR 7909)

 

 

Certainly different from all the other versions I’ve heard, Holt sounds pretty cheerful about not wanting to be alone. Good that we’re getting more reggae back into the charts.

 

 

 

WIZZARD: Are You Ready To Rock/Marathon Man (Warner Bros K 16497)

 

 

Back to Bill Haley basics for Roy Wood, but with a weird bebop sax interlude and a bagpipe coda. This should put them back in the top ten but it still feels like time’s run out for the glam movement – there’s absolutely nothing glamorous about this.

 

 

 

THE TYMES: Ms Grace/The Crutch (RCA Victor RCA 2493)

 

 

Very old-fashioned showbiz doowop that swings catchily.

 

 

 

 

11 January

 

DONNY & MARIE OSMOND: Morning Side Of The Mountain/One Of These Days (MGM 2006 474)

 

 

Oh NO! “There was a BOY…there was a GIRL.” I’ve seen them singing this on TV about 7000 times and it’s going to be a big hit, isn’t it? Don’t think it’s going to get the teenyboppers excited, though; this is for their square parents.

 

 

 

KEN BOOTHE: Crying Over You/Now You Can See Me Again (When Will I See You Again) (Trojan TR 7944)

 

 

Not as catchy as “Everything I Own” but good solid ballad reggae. Interesting Three Degrees variation on the B-side.

 

 

 

 

18 January

 

KEVIN JOHNSON: Rock And Roll (I Gave You The Best Years Of My Life)/Life Is What You Make It (UK UKR 64)

 

 

This is one of those songs that Johnnie Walker likes playing then complains about it not being a hit. “Overnight Sensation (Hit Record)” by the Raspberries was another one and that really should have been top three. I do like this one, though. Slow and reflective, and a bit like “W.O.L.D.” by Harry Chapin (nearly a hit in 1974 but perhaps British people got confused by all the American radio references) in that it’s about a guy who’s given his whole life to something – in each case it’s music – only to discover that it’s all been for nothing and he wasn’t good enough. I like how the music starts screaming after he sings “I’d never be a star” – all this pent-up frustration at possibly having wasted his life. Is that what I’ve done already?

 

 

 

PILOT: January/Never Give Up (EMI 2255)

 

 

They really are a super band, Pilot. Immensely catchy, like an asteroid swooping in to land a kiss on your cheek. This is how to write proper pop music. Handclaps. The Beatles! It HAS to be a number one. SCOTLAND!

 

 

 

STEVIE WONDER: Boogie On Reggae Woman/Evil (Tamla Motown TMG 928)

 

 

Terrific bubbly synthesised soul and Stevie even sounds Glaswegian in the chorus (“WAMMIN!”).

 

 

 

GEORGE McCRAE: You Can Have It All/Make It Right (Jay Boy BOY 92)

 

 

Slowing the formula down a little and letting the excellent song shine through more clearly. Not a one-hit wonder.

 

 

 

ELVIS PRESLEY: Promised Land/It’s Midnight And I Miss You (RCA PB 10074)

 

 

Did RCA put this out to spoil the chances of the brilliant Johnnie Allan version with the accordion? That’s one of those big hits that get in the Radio Clyde Tartan Thirty but you never hear them anywhere else. “12 Days Of Christmas” by Bill Barclay is another. Still, the King seems to be rocking out with purpose here and some wonderful guitar from I presume James Burton.

 

 

 

 

25 January (my eleventh birthday!)

 

HELEN REDDY: Angie Baby/I Think I’ll Write A Song (Capitol CL 15799)

 

 

Lots of hits in the U.S.A. but her first one here. What a disturbing song about this girl obsessed with the radio in her bedroom and a boy becomes interested but gets eaten by the radio, or something. “It’s so nice to be insane” – oh, I see, they put her away.

 

 

 

JOHNNY WAKELIN AND THE KINSHASA BAND: Black Superman (Muhammad Ali)/Bang The Drum (Pye 7N 45420)

 

 

Rather oafish half-reggae boxer tribute and he sounds like Peter Goodwright on Who Do You Do? “Ali Shuffle” by Georgie Fame is much better but won’t be a hit.

 

 

 

WIGAN’S CHOSEN FEW: Footsee (Instrumental)/CHUCK WOOD: 7 Days Too Long (Pye Disco Demand DDS 111)

 

 

This record is MAD! Kazoos for brass! Football match crowds! This is much weirder and better than Yes! Funny how all the bourgeois people grow their hair, wear denim jackets and listen to Led Zeppelin but working class people dress up, go to clubs and do their dancing to fast soul music. I know who’s having more fun. The other side is also a fabulous song! We want more Northern Soul in the charts NOW!

 

 

 

THE CARPENTERS: Please Mr Postman/This Masquerade (A&M AMS 7141)

 

 

Motown cover version done with forced jollity. “Delivah de lettah!” sings Karen like she’s just listened to some reggae. I’d like to hear her do “Ire Feelings (Skanga)” - that would be a change. B-side is old but very pleasant misery.

 

 

 

MAC AND KATIE KISSOON: Sugar Candy Kisses/Black Rose (Polydor 2058 531)

 

 

They’ve been around and played on Luxembourg forever, but finally they get a hit – it’s the same people who did “Sugar Baby Love” so it’s similar, like they wrote the song a little further up the slide rule. Katie Kissoon sounds like she’s doing most of the work.

 

 

 

SWEET SENSATION: Purely By Coincidence/Touched By Magic (Pye 7N 45421)

 

 

Follow-up in much the same vein as the previous one – again, very nice but they’ll have to prove they can do something different. Have to hand it to Pye Records, though – three new entries in the Top 30 this week so their promotions staff must be doing their jobs very efficiently.

 

 

 

SPARKS: Something For The Girl With Everything/Marry Me (Island WIP 6221)

 

 

Sparks are my favourite band, I’ve just decided. Every song they do is different. This is like psychopathic rock opera, glam-rock Mozart.

 

 

 

THE GLITTER BAND: Goodbye My Love/Got To Get Ready For Love (Bell 1395)

 

 

This will probably be their biggest hit but they can’t make their minds up whether they still want to be glam or whether they might be better off just being the Bay City Rollers.