APRIL 1977

Nice weather is what I mainly remember from this month; warmly sunny and everybody (well, pupils, not teachers) was beginning to dress down and wear the then-fashionable Adidas T-shirts (mine was red). It was pleasing because you didn’t have to take anything too seriously, including swotting up for next month’s exams while simultaneously rehearsing House Shows or in my and others’ case The Chinese Mask. You always do better at exams, as with most other things in life, if you don’t try so obviously hard. Life was, I think, good. This month and the one following it, unbeknownst to me at the time, were to be the clear highlights of my time at school. The rest of it proved somewhat disappointing.

 

Notes on Text

 

“Rock Bottom” had been written with Blue Mink (of whom Mike Moran at the time had been a member) in mind, but since the latter group had just disbanded in 1977, the composers performed it themselves after the song’s publishers submitted it to Eurovision without their knowledge. I’d have thumped them myself but never mind. The back-to-back/newspaper-reading piano/pianist set-up was choreographed by Lionel Blair, no less, and the BBC, then beset by numerous financial problems, were secretly relieved that the song only finished second (to the French entry, Marie Myriam’s immensely superior but non-UK Top 30 charting "L'Oiseau et l'Enfant"), since they’d have had to stage the 1978 contest themselves if it had won. They must likewise have been secretly relieved when Morecambe and Wise pissed off to Thames (and thereafter pissed their careers away) and when The Black And White Minstrel Show was cancelled (ostensibly for political reasons, but in reality it was too damn expensive to stage) the same year.

 

As for Mike Moran, In 1983 he co-wrote Kenny Everett’s top ten comedy hit “Snot Rap,” which Everett’s neighbour Freddie Mercury happened to love; at Everett’s suggestion, he got together with Moran, and four years later they came up with “Barcelona.” Lynsey de Paul, in the meantime, appeared at the 1983 Conservative Party election rally singing “Vote Tory, Tory, Tory/For election glory.” Kenny Everett infamously materialised at the same rally but maintained he was trying to be subversive. Maybe, maybe not; who either knows or cares now?

 

Andrew Gold later said that yes, he was in “Lonely Boy,” but was not the character you thought he was (he’s actually the guy the kid’s sister goes off and marries at the end). Includes a split-second backing vocal cameo by Linda Ronstadt. Sleigh bells in the arrangement! Still a great pop record, produced by Peter Asher, and apart from one guitar overdub, it was recorded entirely live in the studio in one take. Inevitably Mr Gold got together with Graham Gouldman in 1987 for the splendid one-off project Wax.

 

2 April

 

O. C. SMITH: Together/Just Couldn’t Help Myself (Caribou CRB 4910)

 

 

 

Surprise comeback for the “Son Of Hickory Holler’s Tramp” man nine years after his only British hit; a smooth, mellow and not unpleasing MoR-soul ballad spotlighting good interplay with his backing singers.

 

 

 

 

 

LYNSEY DE PAUL & MIKE MORAN: Rock Bottom/You Shouldn’t Say That (Polydor 2058 859)

 

 

 

Heavily-promoted but very dated-sounding Eurovision entry – that “oompah, oompah” tempo remains in place – with both performers soberly besuited at separate pianos and complaining about the state of the nation today. I think the Clash have a better grasp of the latter now.

 

 

 

BONNIE TYLER: More Than A Lover/Love Tangle (RCA Victor PB 5008)

 

 

 

An attempt at sensuous raunchy rock which is actually quite cleverly written and subtly arranged but again sounds more like a 1971 album track than anything else and rather old-fashioned now. This will not be as big a hit as “Lost In France.”

 

 

 

 

9 April

 

THE STYLISTICS: $7000 And You/That Don’t Shake Me (H & L Records 6105 073)

 

 

 

Under the iron golfing shoes of Hugo and Luigi, this once-great group continue to trawl new lows with every release. This is a song so corny Perry Como would have rejected it as a follow-up to “Delaware,” and compared to what the Spinners are currently doing, this really is scampi-in-a-basket cabaret time. What a pitiful decline.

 

 

 

ANDREW GOLD: Lonely Boy/Angel Woman (Asylum K 13076)

 

 

 

Terrific pop record, brilliantly produced and arranged, telling the story of a boy who grows up and grows away from his family – possibly Andrew Gold himself? This is so good that it’s worthy of 10cc at their (former) best.

 

 

ELKIE BROOKS: Pearl’s A Singer/You Did Something For Me (A&M AMS 7275)

 

 

 

Long-overdue hit for the former Vinegar Joe co-lead singer with a terrific, theatrically-paced Leiber and Stoller portrait. Unlike many pop records, it actually goes somewhere.

 

 

DENIECE WILLIAMS: Free/Cause You Love Me Baby (Kalimba/CBS 4978)

 

 

 

This is a magical record, produced by the late Charles Stepney (with Maurice White, who finished what Stepney started) – immense, spiritual soul balladry sung by a voice comparable with that of Minnie Riperton in how it sweeps and soars into the celestial. This makes most of its companions in this chart sound as though they just aren’t trying. It should stand next to Mahalia Jackson and John Coltrane in the realms of the spiritual. It’s going to be VERY big.

 

 

 

DEAD END KIDS: Have I The Right/Lady (Put The Light On Me) (CBS 4972)

 

 

 

Strange Dave Clark Five/Slade-thumping hooligan sixties cover version, produced by Barry Blue, which isn’t really punk rock (even though the band are from Glasgow, it’s finally too polite) but makes nearly enough noise that will convince many people that it is. It’s like the Bay City Rollers if they had a little more courage.

 

 

 

 

 

 

16 April

 

PETER GABRIEL: Solsbury Hill/Moribund The Burgermeister (Charisma CB 301)

 

 

 

His first solo single, and his first Top 30 appearance since “I Know What I Like (In Your Wardrobe)” three years ago, this is a patiently euphoric ascent of a pop song, all about coming home (metaphorically and otherwise), which feels sufficiently epic to warrant standing on top of said Hill and proclaiming its glory to the planet. It’s as if the singer has finally summoned up the courage to take off his mask and make-up and tell the world, this is ME, take me or leave me. Goes nicely atonal towards the fadeout, too. He sings as though he’s just been given the gifts of sound and vision.

 

 

MICHAEL NESMITH: Rio/Life, The Unsuspecting Captive (Pacific Arts/Island WIP 6373)

 

 

 

Well, here’s a pleasant surprise; the former bobble-hatted Monkees man returns grown-up, ironically humorous and reflective. A nice, drifting song about not really doing anything – or needing to do anything – and he will almost certainly never get to Rio, but just by thinking about it he’s as good as done it. A lot of Nilsson-type shoulder-shrugging hey-it’s-what-I-do-ness about this song, which really is a good thing.

 

 

 

LEO SAYER: How Much Love/I Hear The Laughter (Chrysalis CHS 2140)

 

 

 

Ebullient uptempo pop-soul in the “Philadelphia Freedom” tradition; not as good or immediate as the two hits which preceded it, but should do reasonably buoyant business to non-album buyers.

 

 

TAVARES: Whodunit/Fool Of The Year (Capitol CL 15914)

 

 

 

Fun list song which lyrically just seems like an excuse to namecheck as many fictitious detectives as possible but catchy enough to get them back into the top ten.

 

 

 

ROSE ROYCE: I Wanna Get Next To You/Sunrise (MCA 278)

 

 

 

Superior Norman Whitfield soul ballad in the “Just My Imagination” vein; won’t be as big as “Car Wash” but may linger in people’s minds for longer.

 

 

 

  

 

STEVIE WONDER: Sir Duke/Tuesday Heartbreak (Motown TMG 1068)

 

 

 

The next obvious single from Songs In The Key Of Life; a bouncy tribute to Ellington – and how good it is to have all those great jazz names mentioned in a hit record – with typical harmonic and arrangemental brilliance from Wonder and really exuberant brass and reeds work. May well be his biggest British hit yet, and deservedly so.

 

 

 

23 April

 

DAVID DUNDAS: Another Funny Honeymoon/Smile On (Air CHS 2136)

 

 

 

Really ordinary – and belated – follow-up (which even unashamedly quotes the “Jeans On” riff throughout) which proves that some one-hit wonders should remain as such.

 

 

 

GLEN CAMPBELL: Southern Nights/William Tell Overture (Capitol CL 15907)

 

 

 

Obviously a hit off the back of his chart-topping Twenty Golden Greats compilation, Campbell has some fun with the Allen Toussaint song, even though I think he’s singing “tunes that you know and have sold.” Even if he isn’t, he should have done.

 

 

 

BARBRA STREISAND: Love Theme From “A Star Is Born” (Evergreen)/I Believe In Love (CBS 4855)

 

 

 

“Love…soft as an easy chair,” begins the song. “What the hell is this, a commercial for Carrick Furniture House?” asked my father. Actually Barbra Streisand should sing some commercials. Scotties tissues, perhaps (if they’re good enough for Bryan Ferry)? Agnew’s Stores? It would do her good to get about the place. This is a very nice MoR love song as far as these things go but I go a lot further than that.

 

 

 

VAN McCOY: The Shuffle/That’s The Joint (H & L Records 6105 076)

 

 

 

Exactly the same as “The Hustle” but with a shuffling beat (which is presumably why it’s called “The Shuffle”) and a middle-eight that goes somewhere entirely different, but this should be as big a hit for people who all like to dance rhythmically together in a line.

 

 

 

30 April

 

TELEVISION: Marquee Moon (Stereo)/Marquee Moon (Mono) (Elektra K 12252)

 

 

 

The most extraordinary rock record I’ve heard so far this year, this album. It makes most other bands sound like they’re only playing at being rock ‘n’ roll (as opposed to just playing it). Is it punk or, as some are now calling it, “New Wave”? I think it would have sounded just as great and DIFFERENT in 1968 or 1972 or any other rocking year you care to name. If I could make music I’d want it to sound like this. Drums which are definitely more jazz than rock, guitars that sound like each is breathing the other’s air and improving it, songs that never take the easy or direct way out.

 

Everything rock critics have said about this record so far is correct. It’s raw but at the same time too sophisticated for most people even to consider. And no more profoundly is this demonstrated than on the title track, which Elektra have now put out on a twelve-inch single, covering both sides, so that you might buy it and put it, and them (Television, the band) into the charts.

 

It’s just…something else. If I begin to rhapsodise about it I’ll sound awkward and pretentious. The way the guitars of Tom Verlaine and Richard Lloyd interweave with each other so that you can’t always tell who’s soloing when – and it doesn’t matter. The way in which the band steadily builds up to a throbbing, pulsating climax – then let it fall gently, like stars tired of twinkling, then to pause…then to start again, in a Möbius strip.

 

This is rock ‘n’ roll as the Beatles really couldn’t have imagined it. This is the future.

 

 

10cc: Good Morning Judge/Don’t Squeeze Me Like Toothpaste (Mercury 6008 025)

 

 

 

Somewhat forced-sounding attempt at the band (as they were)’s old humour, one stop short of becoming dull AoR – references to “the pen” and “Alcatraz” indicate that they’re now trying to break through in the States.

 

 

 

DEEP PURPLE: Smoke On The Water/Woman From Tokyo/Child In Time (Purple PUR 132)

 

 

 

An RCA MaxiMillion-style maxi-single reissue for those who still care about the band. Good to have “Smoke On The Water” finally out as a single but this should have happened five years ago and is unlikely to prove another “Space Oddity.”

 

 

 

JOE TEX: Ain’t Gonna Bump No More (With No Big Fat Woman)/I Mess Up Everything I Get My Hands On (Epic EPC 5035)

 

 

 

At least three years out of date but that won’t stop it becoming a big hit – imagine someone of the calibre of Joe Tex finally getting into the British charts, but only with their worst record. Horrendous novelty that will make me want to avoid discos (even the youth ones, which are the only ones I’m allowed to go to) this whole summer.

 

 

 

EAGLES: Hotel California/Pretty Maids All In A Row (Asylum K 13079)

 

 

 

This is the sort of dirge people mistakenly think represents rock music. In 1971 it was “Stairway To Heaven” and now it’s this – slow, pompous, interminable and about as frightening as my slippers. I think this is supposed to be an allegory about “the sixties” and how some people just won’t, or can’t, let go of them. But this is why punk is prospering (or will do). Instead of just sitting cross-legged on your patterned carpet musing over what went wrong, punk angrily stands up and fixes it – not even demanding it be fixed, but actually fixing things. This is old and in the past, therefore will be a big hit. “Marquee Moon” versus “Hotel California"? From where I’m sitting, there’s no contest.

 

 

 

 

ROD STEWART: First Cut Is The Deepest/I Don’t Want To Talk About It (Riva RIVA 7)

 

 

 

Not sure why this single has been released – these tracks are each taken from number one albums of last year and the previous year respectively, therefore you’d think most Rod fans would already have them – but it looks as though this might be one of his biggest. I suspect the reason for this is because the single isn’t pitched at “most Rod fans” but rather at a much larger demographic – the same depressed housewives who would once have wept along with Engelbert Humperdinck, disappointed at something they can’t quite grasp and dreaming of something different and more exciting, if not better. Not that you’ll derive any excitement from these sober ballad readings but they will fill a gap in many minds that might otherwise have been absent. Number one in two or three weeks, I’d hazard a guess.