MARCH 1975

“Philadelphia Freedom” got to number one all right, but in the United States, where Elton performed the song on Soul Train. In dull old Britain it got stuck at number 12 because Elton understandably didn’t want to go on Top Of The Pops and have Johnny Pearson’s orchestra screw everything up.

 

I should explain the term “petrol station string synthesiser” by which I meant the Korg string synthesiser that was commonly in use in the mid-seventies. There was a Burmah petrol station on Bothwell Main Street and a television commercial for Burmah at the time featured a string synthesiser, so it stuck with me, right through to things like “Touch And Go,” the second Magazine single nobody remembers.

 

Tim Brooke-Taylor and Bill Oddie were both in I’m Sorry I’ll Read That Again but Graeme Garden was not. When Cornelius Cardew got his People’s Music project going, many remarked on the similarity of the chorus of his most famous song, “Smash The Social Contract,” to that of “The Funky Gibbon.” Dave MacRae was the Goodies’ musical director at the time, hence several distinguished British-based jazz musicians contributed to their records.

 

The “Adriano Celentano song” was “Prisencolinensinainciusol”; Mike Reid’s cover of it was entitled “Freezin’ Cold in 89 Twoso.”

 

 

1 March

 

SHOWADDYWADDY: Sweet Music/Windows (Bell 1403)

 

 

They just shout all the time. “Sweet, sweet music TO MOI EARS-AH!” Stompy shouty and fewer people aren’t getting fed up with it.

 

 

 

DAVID BOWIE: Young Americans/Suffragette City (RCA Victor RCA 2523)

 

 

I’m very glad that he’s David Bowie again and not “Bowie” any more. Perhaps RCA thought people might mix him up with Kenny. Bowie doing “The Bump”; that would be something else. But this really is terrific – he’s gone to Philadelphia but this is nothing like the O’Jays, more a constantly-rolling soul ballad that actually sounds like he’s felt something at some point in his life. “Do you remember…your President Nixon?” he asks (implying that he was your problem, not ours). He quotes “A Day In The Life” by the Beatles. It stops to consider things and builds up and up very satisfactorily. This is his best single since “Life On Mars?” Daft choice for a B-side, though; it isn’t a rubbish song, but nobody cares about Ziggy Alvin Stardust any more.

 

 

 

JOHN LENNON: #9 Dream/What You Got (Apple R 6003)

 

 

“Whatever Gets You Through The Night” with Elton John and that Agaton Sax sax should have been a big hit and that is that. This is a lovely, lost song, though, like a limpid bridge in Blantyre when summer’s about to turn into autumn. The album Walls And Bridges sounds too grown-up for me but this floats nicely and doesn’t do or go what or where you’d expect. I expect the song is a reference to “Revolution #9” and the dream is over. I guess some people will never get past the sixties.

 

 

 

BARRY MANILOW: Mandy/Something’s Comin’ Up (Arista ARISTA 1)

 

 

The first hit on Arista – indeed, the first single on Arista – and this is the big new sensation we’ve been told about. Number one in the U.S.A. I remember when Scott English had a hit with this song but he called it “Brandy” and it was about a dog. This Barry Manilow sings it like he means it, though, which I suppose will count. Disappointed Engelbert fans will appreciate it.

 

 

 

SUPERTRAMP: Dreamer/Bloody Well Right (A&M AMS 7132)

 

 

I know these songs because my pal Colin Lander is a big Supertramp fan and loves Crime Of The Century. I thought they were too hip and trendy to get into the charts – I’ve heard Derek Jewell playing “Dreamer” on Sounds Interesting – but am glad they managed. This is a really clever song, “Dreamer,” with the two lead singers playing off each other and the structure of the song itself is intelligent. Unexpected ending with glockenspiel. This is what people want now, not Sweet Glitter. The B-side is great but radio won’t play it, obviously.

 

 

 

AVERAGE WHITE BAND: Pick Up The Pieces/You Got It (Atlantic K 10489)

 

 

 

From Dundee – how glorious they’ve got a hit! Fantastic catchy funky brassy instrumental. It’s as if we’re also letting jazz back into the charts and how great is that? What a change from this time last year; so much good and creative music becoming popular! SCOTLAND!!

 

 

 

 

8 March

 

BARRY WHITE: What Am I Gonna Do With You?/What Am I Gonna Do With You Baby? (20^th Century BTC 2177)

 

 

 

Reasonable but he’s beginning to repeat himself.

 

 

 

THE ELTON JOHN BAND: Philadelphia Freedom/I Saw Her Standing There (DJM DJS 354)

 

 

This is the kind of pop record that makes you glad you lived long enough to hear it. Unlike “Young Americans,” this DOES sound like the O’Jays but what an arrangement and production; the song is perfect and its glide towards the top is patient and with purpose. Elton’s never sounded happier in his life. This is so glorious that when it gets to the end with French horns etc. you want to take off and ride a rocket to the sun. Maybe that’s what he had in mind when he sang “Rocket Man.” It’s a cry in favour of life and should be number one for life. B-side recorded live with John Lennon at Madison Square Gardens last year.

 

 

 

GUYS & DOLLS: There’s A Whole Lot Of Loving/Don’t Turn The Other Cheek (Magnet MAG 20)

 

 

Song from the McVitie’s biscuit commercial, sung by a group someone’s obviously dreamt up to fill the gap left by the New Seekers. Somewhat spooky, as though performed by tailored robots.

 

 

 

BAY CITY ROLLERS: Bye Bye Baby/It’s For You (Bell 1409)

 

 

The Rollers have had everything this past year apart from a number one single but that’s clearly about to change. Infuriatingly catchy Four Seasons cover version, which Les McKeown charmingly still sings in an Edinburgh accent, this will sell seventeen million. For some girls in my class at school but not for me personally, and that’s how it should be.

 

 

 

 

15 March

 

THE OSMONDS: Having A Party/Wanted (MGM 2006 492)

 

 

 

They sing this song on TV every week but who needs the Osmonds when you’ve got the Rollers now? Don’t think this will be much of a hit – I mean, who even remembers them?

 

 

 

DUANE EDDY & THE REBELETTES: Play Me Like You Play Your Guitar/DUANE EDDY: Blue Montana Sky (GTO GT 11)

 

 

Old man from the fifties has a hat and beard now and comes back with this not-very-much-of-anything-at-all. The oboe makes me think of the theme to Emmerdale Farm. What’s supposed to be rock ‘n’ roll about that?

 

 

 

RUBETTES: I Can Do It/If You’ve Got The Time (State Records STAT 1)

 

 

I see they’re now considered big enough to have their own record label. This is “Juke Box Jive Part 2.” Not very exciting. They’ll be back on Polydor by Christmas.

 

 

 

KENNY: Fancy Pants/I’m A Winner (RAK 196)

 

 

Well, if Mud are turning into an Elvis Presley tribute act, I guess Mickie Most needs another band to fill the “Tiger Feet” gap. Good piano intro but this is far too shrill to be fun and they don’t have Mud’s talent.

 

 

 

MOMENTS AND WHATNAUTS: Girls/More Girls (All Platinum 6146 302)

 

 

 

The second All Platinum hit, and it’s really irritating because the backing music is good – Timmy Thomas drum machine, petrol station string synthesiser and Modern Jazz Quartet vibes – but the lyrics are TERRIBLE! This is why the instrumental B-side is much better.

 

 

 

 

22 March

 

WIGAN’S OVATION: Skiing In The Snow/Northern Soul Dancer (Spark SRL 1122)

 

 

Cover of a song by the Invitations that I’ve never heard but this will get people dancing even though the singer looks like Tommy Boyd from Magpie.

 

 

 

JIM GILSTRAP: Swing Your Daddy/Swing Your Daddy Part 2 (Chelsea 2005 021)

 

 

George McCrae soundalike + drum machine = looking for the next “Rock Your Baby” but this is mid-tempo and not as immediate.

 

 

 

THE GOODIES: The Funky Gibbon/Sick-Man Blues (Bradley’s Records BRAD 7504)

 

 

They sang a song called “Stuff That Gibbon” on I’m Sorry I’ll Read That Again a long time ago – or two of them did, anyway - so this is obviously a revision. Once you get past the comedy voices it is actually very funky. B-side is funnier but again can’t be played on the radio.

 

 

 

GLORIA GAYNOR: Reach Out, I’ll Be There/Searchin’ (MGM 2006 499)

 

 

Side one of the Never Can Say Goodbye album has to be listened to in its totality, where this is a brilliant climax. Won’t be so big as an isolated single, however.

 

 

 

SWEET: Fox On The Run/Miss Demeanour (RCA Victor RCA 2524)

 

 

I mentioned “Sweet Glitter” a few weeks ago but at least one of these has come back very strongly – and at last they get to write and sing their own songs. Terrific catchy Moog-heavy rock which will put them right back up at the top.

 

 

 

 

29 March

 

LABELLE: Lady Marmalade/Space Children (Epic EPC 2852)

 

 

Thunderous New Orleans funk-R&B monster with French lyrics I don’t yet understand because we don’t get French until we’ve started at the Grammar, but this is outrageously and androgynously (in spirit if not in fact) good.

 

 

 

PETER SHELLEY: Love Me Love My Dog/My Sweet Deutsche Friend (Magnet MAG 22)

 

 

There was no way Alvin Stardust was going to be interested in this song. Nice, reflective “Me And You And A Dog Named Boo”-style (but with strings added) midtempo MoR; should do very well.

 

 

 

THE SHADOWS: Let Me Be The One/Stand Up Like A Man (EMI 2269)

 

 

Back from wherever they’ve been – in deep freeze storage, perhaps – this year’s Eurovision entry is yet more oompah-oompah muck and what’s worse they’ve been forced to sing it. British people need to realise it isn’t the sixties anymore.

 

 

 

MIKE REID: The Ugly Duckling/Your Kind Of Love (Pye 7N 45434)

 

 

“Professional Cockney,” my father calls this guy, and nobody older than six or younger than 70 will like this “novelty” record. He did a cover of the Adriano Celentano song last year and that managed not to be funny either.