DECEMBER 1974

Mud got both the year's Christmas number one and the year's best-selling single in "Tiger Feet" - the Wombles and Ralph McTell both managed to peak at number two in different weeks. The hit version of "Streets Of London" was actually the third recording McTell had made of the song since 1969. The applause at the end of "I Can Help" was in recognition of Billy Swan having performed and compelted the recording while having his ankle being bitten into by a dog which had just run into the studio. "Down Down" gave Status Quo their only UK number one single in a slow week in early January 1975. I caught up with the movie of Stardust many years later and it is indeed pretty scary; the gong effect was achieved by Ray Cooper striking the instrument then immersing it in a bathtub filled with water. Carpet Kingdom was a Scottish carpet warehouse which advertised on STV. Kenny the group were indeed different from Tony Kenny the Irish singer but some sort of deal was engineered where the "brand name" passed on to the band. Showaddywaddy did gain further success in 1975 but realised they'd have to rely on cover versions to do so. Gilbert O'Sullivan's August 1974 single "A Woman's Place" was deemed controversial and sexist, hence received little airplay and peaked at #42; however, O'Sullivan explained that the song was a satirical character study and that if he tried any of that patter with his own wife, he would be the recipient of an almighty thumping.

 

7 December

 

THE TRAMMPS: Zing Went The Strings Of My Heart/Penguin At The Bad Apple (Buddah BDS 405)

Disco version of an old song from the thirties. Well, if that's what people want, here it is (the B-side is just the instrumental backing track).

THE FACES/ROD STEWART: You Can Make Me Dance, Sing Or Anything (Even Take The Dog For A Walk, Mend A Fuse, Fold Away The Ironing Board Or Any Other Domestic Shortcomings.)/As Long As You Tell Him (Warner Bros K 16494)

Their last single and it's a thoroughly good example of how a rock band should work and play together; every element is in place and proportion to every other one. Possibly their best single.

WAYNE GIBSON: Under My Thumb/The Game (Pye Disco Demand DDS 2001)

Wrinkled cover of a horrible old Rolling Stones song. Seems to me like Pye is pushing any old rubbish it has in its attic as a lost Northern Soul classic. Who's in charge, Sid James?

K C & THE SUNSHINE BAND: Sound Your Funky Horn/Why Don't We Get Together (Jay Boy BOY 83)

Fewer hooks than "Queen Of Clubs" but the Miami sound is obviously the way to go, if they can find a way to take it. Solid dancer. 

MUD: Lonely This Christmas/I Can't Stand It (RAK 187)

I guess this is going to be the Christmas number one. Maudlin Elvis-style weepie and it sounds like they're treating loss and loneliness as a joke. This time last year it was Slade. How quickly things change.

 

14 December

 

RINGO STARR: Only You/Call Me (Apple R 6000)

Old Platters song sung like he's in the middle of falling asleep. All this old stuff. Musicians getting old. It can't be healthy.

THE GOODIES: Father Christmas Do Not Touch Me/The Inbetweenies (Bradley's Records BRAD 7421)

"The Inbetweenies" is getting most of the publicity - anaemic comedy Glitter Band takeoff about being the wrong age and not particularly funny. The Father Christmas side is one joke that quickly wears very thin.

BILLY SWAN: I Can Help/Ways Of A Woman In Love (Monument MNT 2752)

Deserved success for this American number one, recorded in a shed with his neighbours by the sound of it but in good spirits with the Woolworths organ and a round of applause at the end.

THE WOMBLES: Wombling Merry Christmas/Madame Cholet (CBS 2842)

I suppose 1974 will go down as the year of Mud and the Wombles. That isn't saying much considering a year ago it was Slade and Wizzard. This is like "Remember You're A Womble" but with Christmas and a wheezing saxophone added.

STATUS QUO: Down Down/Nightride (Vertigo 6059 114)

Back to the fast "Caroline" formula where they sound most comfortable. Should be top five.

RALPH McTELL: Streets Of London/Summer Lightning (Reprise K 14380)

This song seems to have been around forever but is only now getting into the charts, presumably with an eye on the Christmas market. It will do very well - don't think it will get past Mud, but top three is a certainty - but nobody will care about poor people after the New Year.

 

21/28 December (no new chart at Christmas)

 

DAVID ESSEX: Stardust/Miss Sweetness (CBS 2828)

Theme from the sequel to That'll Be The Day which I gather from reviews is very frightening. It's an X certificate so I won't know. This is definitely David Essex at his scariest. Chinese Opera strings and what sounds like a gong being dipped in a watertank. If this were Kevin Coyne or Van Der Graaf Generator everybody would rave about how avant-garde it is.

GLORIA GAYNOR: Never Can Say Goodbye/We Just Can't Make It (MGM 2006 463)

Sounds a bit like the song from the Carpet Kingdom advertisement to me but this is an excellent uptempo disco version of the old Jackson 5 song, very nicely sung.

KENNY: The Bump/Forget The Janes, The Jeans And The Might Have Beens (RAK 186)

Well, if the Rollers didn't want it, the song's obviously been passed on. This is a group and not the same Kenny who did "Heart Of Stone" last year, even though it's the same label. It's confusing, as is the B-side which, despite its name, is dull country-rock.

SHOWADDYWADDY: Hey Mister Christmas/Rock 'N' Roll Man (Bell 1387)

Like their previous two songs but with Christmas and The National Childrens Home Harpenden Choir added. Not Wizzard and the song ends up going nowhere and repeating itself forever until the fade. Not sure we'll be seeing much of them in 1975.

GILBERT O'SULLIVAN: Christmas Song/To Cut A Long Story Short (MAM 124)

He's trying to assure us that he's not very bothered about Christmas, but there's another children's choir. I suppose this is better than his last terrible flop but again I don't think there's much life left in this way of doing things.

 

 

 

 

 

NOVEMBER 1974

"Hot Shot" did turn out to be Barry Blue's last hit as a performer but was very, very far from his last hit as a songwriter and/or producer for others. "Nosmo King" was actually songwriter Stephen Jameson, who had released the song under a different title ("Goodbye") as a B-side earlier in the year (hence its vaguely Elton John-esque feel) without success; it was then recycled and marketed by Pye to look as though it were an undiscovered Northern Soul classic. One of the backing singers is Tony Burrows. "You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet" made number one in twenty-two countries but here got stuck for a fortnight at number two behind the year's Christmas chart-topper. I'm not sure my feelings about "Ire Feelings (Skanga)" have substantively altered over the intervening half-century.

 

2 November

 

STEVIE WONDER: You Haven't Done Nothin'/Happier Than The Morning Sun (Tamla Motown TMG 921)

Funky and angry tirade against Nixon, with the Jackson 5 on backing vocals. Stevie is the new Beatles.

BARRY BLUE: Hot Shot/Hobo Man (Bell 1379)

He's gone mad (hooray)! Red Army Cossack choir, French horns and of course bouzoukis. If this is going to be his last hit, why not go out on such a bang?

THE HUES CORPORATION: Rockin' Soul/Go To The Poet (RCA Victor PB 10066)

Soundalike follow-up. The B-side is less interesting than its title might suggest.

THE PEPPERS: Pepper Box/Pinch Of Salt (Spark SRL 1100)

Follow-up to "Popcorn"? French electronic disco near-instrumental that has been around for a year but finally becomes a hit.

 

9 November

PILOT: Magic/Just Let Me Be (EMI 2217)

From Edinburgh and already huge in Scotland - they've even reworked the song as a jingle for Radio Clyde - this is superb, seamless pop music, worthy of Badfinger.

DIONNE WARWICK AND THE DETROIT SPINNERS: Then Came You/Just As Long As We Have Love (Atlantic K 10495)

Number one on Billboard and if British people were intelligent it would be number one here but they watch On The Buses so it won't. Slinky funk-soul pop that once again demonstrates what a phenomenal record producer Thom Bell is. The Stylistics must be feeling gloomy.

SPLINTER: Costafine Town/Elly May (Dark Horse AMS 7135)

Discovered, signed and produced by George Harrison - the boring Beatle - this earnest bearded folk duo might be thought the next Peter and Gordon. Not by me, you understand, but by grown-up people with beards. I don't think the Rollers have much to worry about.

THE CHI-LITES: Too Good To Be Forgotten/There Will Never Be Any Peace (Until God Is Seated At The Conference Table) (Brunswick BR 13)

Another uptempo bouncer for Eugene Record and his friends. Insubstantial and rendered unlistenable by those stupid Orange Lodge march flutes. The B-side is MUCH better.

LYNSEY DE PAUL: No Honestly/Central Park Arrest (Jet 747)

The A-side is the theme from an ITV situation comedy; she's still on a Spector kick. The B-side is her own version of the song she wrote for Thunderthighs and is rather more intriguing.

BARRY WHITE: You're The First, The Last, My Everything/More Than Anything, You're My Everything (20th Century Records BTC 2133)

He really has come through this year. Instantly catchy disco swayer with spoken intro and outro (if you go with the full album version, which you should). This could go all the way to the top.

 

16 November

 

JIMMY RUFFIN: Farewell Is A Lonely Sound/I Will Never Let You Get Away (Tamla Motown TMG 922)

What's this doing back? It was only a hit four years ago. Do British people have amnesia, or the memory of a goldfish?

DONNY OSMOND: Where Did All The Good Times Go/I'm Dyin' (MGM 2006 468)

Good grief - this record might be prophetic. He really sounds like he's on the way out and is probably right to think that. And he isn't even an adult yet. See what I mean? Do you want that happening to me?

THE JAVELLS FEATURING NOSMO KING: Goodbye Nothin' To Say/Nothin' To Say (Pye Disco Demand DDS 2003)

Northern Soul stomper, sung by a frightening-looking fellow wearing a Blackpool Kiss-Me-Quick hat which he probably bought for 37½p from Central Pier on a wet Wednesday. The B-side is, appropriately, the instrumental. Value for money. And my father says "Nosmo King" is the name of an old comedian. Since the singer looks about ninety he's probably right.

PAUL McCARTNEY AND WINGS: Junior's Farm/Sally G (Apple R 5999)

I've been to a farm. Or at least to a farm show at Ingliston on a school outing. A lot of tractors. The smell of iron, grass and Cresta (pineapple flavour), compressed by heat. Maybe Paul went to one of those shows, got fed up and thought oh I'll write this song instead. Rock politely in your socks.

THE RUBETTES: Juke Box Jive/When You're Falling In Love (Polydor 2058 529)

OK, they thought, we can't do the Four Seasons any more but we can at least do Showaddywaddy.

SUZI QUATRO: The Wild One/Shake My Sugar (RAK 185)

I guess she wants to be Showaddywaddy too.

23 November

 

AL GREEN: Sha-La-La (Make Me Happy)/School Days (London HLU 10470)

Lovely record, beautifully sung, played and produced. Why isn't he bigger here? It's because British people just want Tom Humperdinck shaking his crotch and crooning to the ladies with a rose in his teeth. Too classy. "I Can't Stand The Rain" by Ann Peebles, also produced by Willie Mitchell, got stuck at number 41 back in April. People here only like flimsy tat off the telly.

ELVIS PRESLEY: My Boy/Loving Arms (RCA Victor RCA 2458)

Or they want sentimental schlock like this which Richard Harris did better anyway. I can't listen to this one. The words are too painful. I see and hear them every day.

ACE: How Long/Sniffin' About (Anchor ANC 1002)

There's a lot of talk in the NME these days about "pub rock." They mention Ducks Deluxe, who get played on Luxembourg and whom I do like, and Dr Feelgood, who are apparently very good but nobody's played them up here yet. Also Ace, straight from the Hope and Anchor as I understand things (therefore the name of the label?), with this really classy and slightly threatening midtempo jazz-funk (as my father, who likes this but wanted longer solos, calls it) thing. It'll go above the heads of most British people but this is a quiet beauty.

HELLO: Tell Him/Lightning (Bell 1377)

Unlovely, brutal Glitter stampede of a sixties cover - unsurprising since Mike Leander produced it - performed by crane drivers by the look of them. Glam rock really is running out of ideas.

BACHMAN-TURNER OVERDRIVE: You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet/Free Wheelin' (Mercury 6167 025)

Canada comes to the rescue (again). Randy Bachman used to be in the Guess Who (who should have had a hit here earlier in the year with "Clap For The Wolfman," except nobody here knows who Wolfman Jack is) but this is a stuttering juggernaut of a rock-pop record - funny, catchy, everybody will be out on the dance floor in four seconds. Please note all Second Division glam rockers here; THIS is how you do it. Number one.

GARY GLITTER: Oh Yes! You're Beautiful/Thank You, Baby, For Myself (Bell 1391)

Oh dear. Another sludgy, constipated ballad. Please go away.

 

30 November

 

DISCO TEX & THE SEX-O-LETTES: Get Dancin' - Part 1/Get Dancin' - Part 2 (Chelsea 2005 013)

This is INSANE. Ridiculously infectious get-on-the-floor NOW siren of a groove with Disco Tex howling and yelling bilingually over the top of it, like Emperor Rosko being chased by the F.B.I. over what he might know about Watergate. Being played madly by Tony Prince on Luxembourg. A monster (the record, not Tony Prince).

ALVIN STARDUST: Tell Me Why/Roadie Roll On (Magnet MAG 19) 

I don't know, Alvin, you tell me why. Still, this is a welcome slowing down from his usual one record. It almost sounds like...a Peter Shelley record.

RUPIE EDWARDS: Ire Feelings (Skanga)/RUPIE EDWARDS ALL STARS: Feeling High (Cactus CT 38)

OH. MY. GOD I DID NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS! It's come out of NOWHERE! All the time in the music papers I read about this thing called dub but nobody plays it but if THIS is what it sounds like then WOW!!!!!! This record sounds like every other record ever made played backwards then sideways. There's the ghost of a song in there somewhere but you can never quite grasp it - it always skitters away into the shadows. It just turns all my assumptions about music upside down. "DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD?" this voice jumps out at me like the barking dog of heaven. And it isn't even a comedy record - this is one of the most serious hit records I can think of. Perhaps the best pop single anybody's done since "Double Barrel."

ELTON JOHN: Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds (Featuring Dr Winston O'Boogie and his Reggae Guitars)/One Day At A Time (DJM DJS 340)

It's John Lennon letting us know he knows what's going on (G.T. Moore and the Reggae Guitars - pretty hip) and it's Elton having a splendid time with one of John's old songs (old? It's only seven years ago!). Why "Whatever Gets You Through The Night" wasn't a hit here I'll never know (unless it's because people think John is a lot less cuddly than Paul or Ringo) but this should set the record straight.