OCTOBER 1974

I returned from holiday in Blackpool. It was a really enjoyable week and the Illuminations were fantastic. My abiding memory is standing at the far end of the North Pier on the early evening of the Thursday drinking a long (tall) glass of iced lemonade, the best lemonade I had ever tasted anywhere. One brighter but less radiant memory was the Wednesday afternoon where we sat in deckchairs on the South Pier in unseasonally blazing hot sunshine and the guy from the theatre was desperately trying to get people interested in seeing the afternoon matinee performance of The Jolson Story, starring Freddie Garrity (“PLENTY OF SEATS LEFT!”). There was a box of used singles, I think on the North Pier, and my father nearly picked up “Hang On In There Baby” again by mistake because he briefly thought it was “Get On The Right Track, Baby” by Georgie Fame as used by Alan Freeman as a radio jingle (and which in any case was only ever an album track anyway. Good album, Fame At Last – worth picking up if you see it lying around somewhere).

 

I hadn’t been told about pregnancies when I was ten. Didn’t get those lessons until first year Science class at Uddingston Grammar two years later. “Drum Song” was written by Jackie Mittoo, no less. “Memories” was later covered by Bill Laswell’s Material with a very young Whitney Houston on vocals and Archie Shepp on tenor. Robert Wyatt said that he had intended to cover a Neil Sedaka song but typically picked the wrong Neil (Diamond). “The singer gets the WHEELCHAIR!” he roared at the Top Of The Pops producer. “DON’T MAKE THE FREAKING MANIAC OUT OF ME!” Fifty-one years on, only Escalator Over The Hill betters Rock Bottom as an album, to my ears. The Rollers were extremely reluctant to have “The Bump” as an A-side, so Martin and Coulter passed it on to the band Kenny…

 

28 September/5 October

 

(Author’s Note: Catching up on two weeks of new entries upon return from holiday)

 

28 September

 

BOWIE: Knock On Wood/Panic In Detroit (RCA Victor RCA 2466)

 

 

Rather pointless live cover version. And still the “Bowie” thing. What if everybody did that and you had to buy records by Aznavour, McCrae or Presley? It would be like the Army, really.

 

 

 

PETER SHELLEY: Gee Baby/I’m In Love Again (Magnet MAG 12)

 

 

The gentleman behind the Alvin Stardust hits gets a hit in his own right and it’s a fifties rock ‘n’ roll ballad pastiche. Thrilling for the teenagers.

 

 

 

SWEET SENSATION: Sad Sweet Dreamer/Surething, Yes I Do (Pye 7N 45385)

 

 

Whereas these are actual teenagers, from Manchester. They’ve been on New Faces and people are calling them the British Jackson 5. Really nice song with a lovely lead vocal (Marcel King) but that dance band saxophone belongs in the thirties, like most of Britain.

 

 

 

 

5 October

 

PAUL ANKA: “You’re” Having My Baby/Papa (United Artists UP 35713)

 

 

Ancient wreck from the fifties making a comeback with a sickly song about, well who knows what? Is this how you’re supposed to have a baby or something, and why does he make it sound so tedious, like a P.E. class?

 

 

 

THE TYMES: You Little Trustmaker/The North Hills (RCA Victor RCA 2456)

 

 

Strange uptempo soul that ends in the middle of nowhere, and it sounds like Kevin Ayers doing the “ooby dooby dooby” bits.

 

 

 

ROD STEWART: Farewell/Bring It On Home To Me – You Send Me (Medley) (Mercury 6167 033)

 

 

Another “Maggie May” rewrite. He takes so long saying goodbye he’d have been back from the shop by now.

 

 

 

ANDY FAIRWEATHER LOW: Reggae Tune/Same Old Story (A&M AMS 7129)

 

 

 

The Amen Corner fellow does very light, Moogy boogie reggae and that’s about it. He goes “ooh la la” a lot so that might catch on.

 

 

 

KEN BOOTHE: Everything I Own/WILLIE LINDO: Drum Song (Trojan TR 7920)

 

 

Now here’s some proper reggae. The Ken Boothe song you don’t have to make a theory about – it’s just good music. This is going to be really big.

 

 

 

 

12 October

 

ROBERT WYATT: I’m A Believer/Memories (Virgin VS 114)

 

 

The miracle has occurred! Rock Bottom has just turned my head upside down with how good and inventive it is. They played “Little Red Robin Hood Hit The Road” on Radio Clyde and it sounded like the end of the world. This Monkees cover is so fabulous because it turns the original song on its side rather than just copying it. Catchy and adventurous. The ballad on the B-side is likewise fabulous. My kind of music.

 

 

 

SANTANA: Samba Pa Ti/Incident At Neshabur (CBS 2561)

 

 

This track from Abraxas, which my father bought four years ago, has suddenly become a hit because of a new Greatest Hits album. However, it's nice to see a touch of class in the charts.

 

 

 

GEORGE McCRAE: I Can’t Leave You Alone/You Got My Heart (Jay Boy BOY 90)

 

 

Soundalike follow-up.

 

 

 

GARY SHEARSTON: I Get A Kick Out Of You/Witnessing (Charisma CB 234)

 

 

Deep-voiced Australian sings Cole Porter in the style of “My Sweet Lord.” Canny.

 

 

 

 

19 October

 

OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN: I Honestly Love You/Home Ain’t Home Anymore (EMI 2216)

 

 

So much better than the oompah-Eurovision rubbish; this is the Olivia that America loves. Less frilly light entertainment, please; more goodness like this.

 

 

 

SLIM WHITMAN: Happy Anniversary/What I Had With You (United Artists UP 35728)

 

 

He hasn’t had a hit since the fifties!!?! Older people who think television was the end of civilisation will like this and my parents celebrate their fifteenth wedding anniversary soon so they quite like this one as well.

 

 

 

THE DRIFTERS: Down On The Beach Tonight/Say Goodbye To Angelina (Bell 1381)

 

 

It sounds like he’s singing “Please don’t leave me down on the beach tonight.” Why - are the sharks going to eat him for their tea? On The Beach by Neil Young is a really good album but this is nothing like that whereas it should be.

 

 

 

THE WOMBLES: Minuetto Allegretto/Womble Burrow Boogie (CBS 2710)

 

 

Mozart pastiche with orchestra etc. Some obedient school pupils might like it.

 

 

 

DAVID ESSEX: Gonna Make You A Star/Window (CBS 2492)

 

 

His last one (“America”) flopped due to the absence of a tune, but this is much more like it; whistly, self-aware bubblegum, a little bit like Don Everly’s “Warming Up The Band” but Essex doesn’t take a second of this remotely seriously and that’s why it works.

 

 

 

ROXY MUSIC: All I Want Is You/Your Application’s Failed (Island WIP 6208)

 

 

 

This is all right but no more than that; doesn’t have the sparkle or cheek of “Street Life.” Rather routine, which makes you think Bryan Ferry’s more interested in his solo career these days.

 

 

 

BAY CITY ROLLERS: All Of Me Loves All Of You/The Bump (Bell 1382)

 

 

Why change a winning formula? They’ve cracked it, or at least Bill Martin and Phil Coulter have cracked it for them. Another hugey hugey hit. If they’d flipped the record over and put “The Bump” on the A-side, though, they’d already be number one – super-obvious and super-catchy dance craze teenybop.

 

 

 

SLADE: Far Far Away/O.K. Yesterday Was Yesterday (Polydor 2058 522)

 

 

Melancholy Lennon-ish acoustic jangle from a forthcoming film. I’m not sure they’re really interested in being pop stars any more.

 

 

 

 

26 October

 

THE CRYSTALS: Da Doo Ron Ron/And Then He Kissed Me (Warner-Spector K 19010)

 

 

Don’t understand why this has come back except to illustrate to Wizzard fans, if there are any left (their last single was boring and didn’t make the charts), where it all came from.

 

 

 

THE STYLISTICS: Let’s Put It All Together/I Take It Out On You (Avco 6105 032)

 

 

“Your lips and my lips, what more is there to say?” Lyrics so infantile they could have come from an episode of Play School, except that’s an insult to Play School. Shows you how much they need Thom Bell.

 

 

 

QUEEN: Killer Queen/Flick Of The Wrist (EMI 2229)

 

 

Queen seem to have made the leap that the Sweet are unable to make. It helps that they write their own songs, but where the Sweet got stuck in 1968 boredom, Queen just get on with making catchy songs, and both of these songs are definitely art-rock rather than glam-rock with so much going on and they always keep you on your toes. Also they don’t look like blokes from the factory, which helps.

 

 

SPARKS: Never Turn Your Back On Mother Earth/Alabamy Right (Island WIP 6211)

 

 

First song from their next album and it’s a reflective ballad about the environment with “Strawberry Fields” bits in the centre. Like Queen, they can do anything really.

 

 

 

THE GLITTER BAND: Let’s Get Together Again/Jukebox Queen (Bell 1383)

 

 

Foot-stomper you’re singing along to before you even know how it goes. They’re making better records than their boss these days.

 

 

 

EDDIE HOLMAN: (Hey There) Lonely Girl/It’s All In The Game (ABC 4012)

 

 

Soul oldie that Tony Blackburn’s been playing for years and finally Radio Luxembourg are making it into a big hit. Incredible falsetto that makes Russell Thompkins Jnr from the Stylistics sound like Lee Hazlewood.